Dating

Dating is an activity involving spending time with other individuals ("going on dates") usually through planned social encounters, with the intention of getting to know each other, often with a romantic or intimate purpose. While the result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationship, marriage, or no relation, its significance extends beyond relationship status. Studies in human psychology find that dating can also function as a form of personal growth, as individuals expand their understanding of themselves and others through shared experiences and emotional exchange.

Dating is an activity involving spending time with other individuals ("going on dates") usually through planned social encounters, with the intention of getting to know each other, often with a romantic or intimate purpose. While the result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationship, marriage, or no relation, its significance extends beyond relationship status. Studies in human psychology find that dating can also function as a form of personal growth, as individuals expand their understanding of themselves and others through shared experiences and emotional exchange. === Gendered norms and preferences=== Gendered heterosexual dating norms men have been given include asking someone out, planning dates, paying for dates, and proposing marriage. Women on the other hand are positioned as having a more limited scope of action and selectivity with regards of participation in the date, but a greater and more active responsibility in relationships and marriage. Sociologists studying dating scripts have also determined that much of the popular dating literature continues to reinforce traditional notions of masculinity (agency) and femininity (passive). Online dating patterns suggest that men are more likely to initiate online exchanges (over 75%) and extrapolate that men are less "choosy", seek younger women, and "cast a wide net". One common gendered dating preference is that heterosexual men prefer women's physical attractiveness more than reverse. In a similar vein, the stereotype for heterosexual women is that they seek well-educated men who are their age or older with high-paying jobs. Evolutionary psychology suggests that "women are the choosier of the genders" since "reproduction is a much larger investment for women" who have "more to lose by making bad choices." Women's endorsement of gendered dating norms tends to increase with benevolent sexism, preference for dominant men and long-term relationships. Some women perceive benevolent gendered dating norms benefit them, such as "women should be protected and taken care of by men". Gendered dating norms and chivalry in dating have been described as sexist. The online dating app Bumble enforced until 2024 the gendered dating norm that heterosexual women send the first message after matching. In countries with reversal of the gender gap in education, such as parts of Europe, a switch of educational hypergamy from men to women showing on average higher educational attainment was observed in heterosexual couples. ===Gender egalitarian norms=== Gender egalitarian dating norms have no gendered differences in dating norms, in line with gender equality. Treat both people as equals. No one takes on a fixed, traditional role based on their sex; instead, partners share responsibilities, both people can initiate dates, and expenses and chores are divided equally. Going dutch at dates refers to the equal split of the bill at dates. In an equal relationship, partners discuss what they want openly from the start. This communication replaces unspoken dating "rules" with clear, mutual respect. However, when traditional gender roles persist in dating, but gender equality is promoted in the workplace, it can create role conflict for individuals between their personal and professional lives. Some women reject gender equal norms, such as women approaching men, due to fear of rejection or avoid slut-shaming. ===Level of commitment=== Dating practices can vary in the degree of commitment and emotional involvement, for example, relationships can be committed, monogamous, non-monogamous, or casual. The preference of casual or committed dating depends on age and gender. Individuals signal their preferred degree of commitment through social or digital cues. The credibility of commitment preferences is reduced with cheap talk and increases with costly signals. Commitment is connected to dating stability. In heterosexual dating gendered initiation results in higher number of options for women during initiation and non-committed dating, while for commitment the bargaining power is more balanced. ==Initiation== There are numerous ways people meet potential dates, including blind dates, classified ads, dating websites, hobbies, holidays, office romance, social networking, speed dating, or simply talking in public places, vehicles, or houses. A Pew study in 2005 which examined Internet users in long-term relationships including marriage, found that many met by contacts at work or at school. The survey found that 55% of relationship-seeking singles agreed that it was "difficult to meet people where they live." Work is a common place to meet potential spouses, although there are some indications that the Internet is overtaking the workplace as an introduction venue. People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Friends remain a common way for people to meet. However, the Internet promises to overtake friends in the future if present trends continue. A friend can introduce two people who do not know each other, and the friend may play matchmaker and send them on a blind date. Parents can introduce their children to each other via their contacts with associates, neighbors, or friends. In India, parents often place matrimonial ads in newspapers or online, and may post the resumes of the prospective bride or groom. Finding the right person for dating can be described by matching theory and search theory. Assortative dating can be explained by individual preferences. Due to adverse selection and imperfect information dating can show market failures. === Computers as matchmakers=== Computer dating systems of the later 20th century, especially popular in the 1960s and 1970s, before the rise of sophisticated phone and computer systems, gave customers forms that they filled out with important tolerances and dating preferences, which were "matched by computer" to determine "compatibility" of the two customers. The history of dating systems is closely tied to the history of technologies that support them, although a statistics-based dating service that used data from forms filled out by customers opened in Newark, New Jersey in 1941. battled Operation Match for the U.S. college market in 1965-1967. ]] The first large-scale computer dating system, The Scientific Marriage Foundation, was established in 1957¹ by Dr. George W. Crane. In this system, forms that applicants filled out were processed by an IBM card sorting machine. The earliest commercially successful computerized dating service in either the US or the UK was Com-Pat, started by Joan Ball in 1964. Operation Match, started by Harvard University students a year later is often erroneously claimed to be the "first computerized dating service." In actuality, both Com-Pat and Operation Match were preceded by other computerized dating services in Europe—the founders of Operation Match and Joan Ball of Com-Pat both stated they had heard about these European computer dating services and that those served as the inspiration for their respective ideas to create computer dating businesses. The longest running and most successful early computer dating business, both in terms of numbers of users and in terms of profits, was Dateline, which was started in the UK in 1965 by John Patterson. Patterson's business model was not fully legal, however. He was charged with fraud on several occasions for selling lists of the women who signed up for his service to men who were looking for prostitutes. Dateline existed until Patterson's death from alcoholism in 1997, and during the early 1990s it was reported to be the most profitable computer dating company in the world. In the early 1980s in New York City, software developers wrote algorithms to match singles romantically, sometimes using collaborative filtering technologies. Compatibility algorithms and matching software are becoming increasingly sophisticated. ===Using the Internet=== Online dating services charge users a fee to post profiles, perhaps using video or still images, descriptive data, and personal preferences for dating, such as age range, hobbies, and so forth. Online dating was a $2 billion per year industry, , with an annual growth rate of 5%. The industry is dominated by a few large companies, such as EHarmony, Zoosk, and InterActiveCorp, or IAC, which owns several brands including Match.com and OkCupid, and new entrants continue to emerge. Online dating businesses are thriving financially, with growth in members, service offerings, and membership fees and many users renewing their accounts. However, the overall share of Internet traffic using online dating services in the U.S. has declined from 2003 (21% of all Internet users) to 2006 (10%). There is widespread evidence that online dating has increased rapidly and is becoming "mainstream" with new websites appearing regularly. One study suggested that 34% of men and 27% women have used the Internet for dating purposes, and that American's willingness to try it has been on the rise. While online dating has become more accepted, it retains a slight stigma. After controversies such as the 2015 hacking of Ashley Madison user data, dating sites must work to convince users that they are safe places with quality members. Reports vary about the effectiveness of dating web sites to result in marriages or long–term relationships. Pew Research, based on a 2005 survey of 3,215 adults, estimated that three million Americans had entered into long-term relationships or marriage as a result of meeting on a dating web site. While sites have touted marriage rates from 10% to 25%, sociologists and marriage researchers are highly skeptical that valid statistics underlie any such claims. The Pew study (see table) suggested the Internet was becoming increasingly prominent and accepted as a way to meet people for dates, although there were cautions about deception, the risk of violence, and some concerns about stigmas. The report suggested most people had positive experiences with online dating websites and felt they were excellent ways to meet more people. The report also said that online daters tend to have more liberal social attitudes compared to the general population. Research from Berkeley University in California suggests a drop-off in interest after online daters meet face-to-face. It is a lean medium not offering standard cues such as tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions. There is substantial data about online dating habits; for example, researchers believe that "the likelihood of a reply to a message sent by one online dater to another drops roughly 0.7 percent with every day that goes by". Psychologist Lindsay Shaw Taylor found that even though people said they would be willing to date someone of a different race, that people tend to choose dates similar to themselves. Virtual dating incorporates elements of video-game play and dating. Users create avatars and spend time in virtual worlds in an attempt to meet other avatars with the purpose of meeting for potential dates. Mobile dating or cellphone dating refers to exchanging text messages to express interest in others on the system. These may be web-based or online as well, depending on the company. At a singles event, a group of singles are brought together to take part in various activities for the purposes of meeting new people. Events might include parties, workshops, and games. Many events are aimed at singles of particular affiliations, interests, or religions. ==Further reading== Anna Brown (2020). "Nearly Half of U.S. Adults Say Dating Has Gotten Harder for Most People in the Last 10 Years". Pew Research Center. https://pewrsr.ch/3ldzwKm ==External links==

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